Adulting = Strong Communication Skills
Communication is key to effective relationships whether at home, at work, or friendships in general. Learning to communicate will help you build solid relationships wherever you are. Communication at home is a great place to practice effective communication and can help you build a successful foundation for social skill building in the future. Parents can model effective communication for their kids, and they can help their kids develop communication skills with these tips.
7 Tips to Help You Communicate Effectively
#1 Be Clear
When you need something whether it’s from your spouse or your kids, make sure that you are explicit and clear in describing what you need.
I live in house of all boys, my husband and our 3 boys. It is amazing to me that I’m the only one who sees the collection of shoes, jackets, toys, etc at the bottom of the steps.
When I say we need to go put this up, I have to be clear. “Take this to your room, and put it in your closet.” Setting clear expectations and expressing your needs clearly keeps the communication airwaves open.
#2 Say What You Mean
Early in my marriage I wanted to be chased after, I wanted to be complicated, and I wanted my husband to try and figure me out. Guess what…that turned out to be a terrible way to communicate. I was constantly hiding my true feelings and what I really wanted from him, which resulted in confusion and distance.
So I tried something different I started saying exactly what I wanted him to “figure out” and it changed our relationship. I guess it seems romantic to have a guy chasing after you like in the movies, but in reality I just want to be seen and heard. The best way to accomplish those goals is to say what you mean. It’s not romantic like a movie, but in a different way it’s pretty romantic that my guy understands what I want from him and then he does it!
#3 Let it Go!
Let it gooo. Let it gooo. (sorry it’s stuck in your head isn’t it?!)
When you get into disagreements, which you will. Talk about it…deal with your feelings together. Then when it’s over LET. IT. GO! Don’t hold onto the emotions that came from the disagreement. Find a way to let it go. Create a toolbox that you can use like journaling, going for a run, or something else that will give you the chance to leave the disagreement in the past.
#4 Don’t Assume!
Don’t assume that you know what is going on with your spouse or your kids. When you assume it can quickly become about you and create a storyline in your head that isn’t even true. If you sense something is wrong ask questions, listen, and be empathetic to what is happening in the other person’s life.
#5 No Manipulation
Giving someone a guilt trip is a lazy way to communicate. It’s not healthy and only creates a gap in your relationship which can be hard to repair. Manipulation and guilt trips create distrust and only hamper true communication.
#6 Apologize and Mean It
If you did something wrong, the right thing to do is admit to it. Say “I’m sorry.” Honesty is humbling, but it is also restorative to your relationship.
Don’t just talk about yourself, listen to your family members. Actively listen by being attentive to what the other person is saying. When discussing a problem, instead of offering advice to solve the problem, ask questions and let them come to a decision on their own.
If you are listening to a story about their day or something that happened to them be genuinely interested and respond appropriately.